I've been keeping my music world a bit quiet recently. I haven't planned on playing much, or dedicated time to write/create, and it's been great. Music without pressure is one of the most beautiful things I have ever experienced.
I started music quite late, so I always felt I had to catch up; I taunted and pushed myself, I settled for less than perfect, or didn't quite reach the completed sound I wanted, in order to finish projects quickly. I had to get things out there, so I could go somewhere. Anywhere. But where the hell do you go with art? I always felt like the mainstream is where I should want to be, but playing with the big boys has never appealed to me. I've always followed my heart, and the path of genuine passion. The past few years have made this road seem quite redundant, almost scornful. But I feel a change is happening.
It seems people have finally had enough of how things have been, in all avenues of life where the impenetrable glass ceiling reigns over, and I think this is being majorly reflected in music. People like Jeremy Corbyn have made grass roots popular and he has also made it's victory seem achievable. An example of this and one of my biggest inspirations is Kunal Singhal - the founder of promotional company 'Chaos Theory.' I remember going to one of the first death metal gigs he put on. It was me and about ten other people in the room. I watched as he head banged, on his own, in the otherwise still and silent crowd and all my experience over the past few years, watching the live music scene in London plummet, meant my faith in the success of these nights was thin. Well four years later he is selling out shows and putting on some of his all time favourite bands. I can take a slice of humble pie and it makes me so happy.
People like him are proof passion, heart and hard work do pay off. He aims to showcase independent bands and music he thinks people wouldn't have heard anything similar to before. They are underground and they are the newest, purest version of punk around. In comparison, I've been half heatedly following the dim flicker of passion for music that is barely still burning inside of me. I've reluctantly stuck to my guns and created art, almost bitterly trudging through, wondering why my passions didn't lie in maths, or something else that would be easier and more lucrative to pursue.
But art is lucrative. Mentally. And only when it is expressed in its purest form. Art is happiness. Or, more, it can turn depression, anger, confusion into happiness. Like a miracle. You can't put a price on art, because that's when it is lost. It is in our very core for a reason. It is human. It is raw. It is beautiful, Any artist trying to twist or bend it to suit what they think might be more profitable or popular is really depriving the world of the honesty that makes art one of the few things that create that indecipherable fulfillment. Art is love. It turns me into a massive hippie and I can't help it.
I will no longer be planning to write, or pressuring myself to 'make it' to some mythical place of achievement. Art is like oxygen; it might not always seem present, you can forget how much you need it, but it is an unavoidable, necessary essence of life.
To anyone who might take the time to read this post, please create. Know how relevant your thoughts and expressions are and don't let anyone tell you they aren't good enough. Wether they be friends, strangers, corporations. Anyone. You are beautiful and someone somewhere is waiting to hear you :)